A Little Mishap
by Snapegirlkmf
Summary: A miscast spell by Emma turns Rumple, Belle, Regina, Snow, David, Hook, Ruby, Ashley,and George into toddlers with no memory of their adult selves and they end up in a daycare center run by the Blue Fairy! Can Emma and Neal restore them to their true selves or will they remain little forever? AU S2, set after Miller's Daughter. Rumbelle!


**A Little Mishap**

**A/N: This was written as a prize for Kris J. Rogers on my FB group. Prompt: somehow most of the major characters are turned into toddlers and are in daycare in Storybrooke. This AU Season 2, set after The Miller's Daughter. Warning-some spanking of minors, but nothing graphic! **

_Granny's diner_

_Storybrooke, Maine:_

"Come on, Belle," Rumple said to his beloved librarian, escorting her to the doors of the diner. "You want to get some hamburgers now that you're out of the hospital and your memory's back, right?"

"Of course, Rumple." Belle smiled at him happily. "I missed eating them with you while I was in the hospital, and I can't wait to taste them again, with a side of fries and iced tea with lemon. And of course I missed having lunch with you."

He grinned at her in return. "I did too, sweetheart. And I'm so glad that our cup helped restore your memories. Now let me get the door for you." And he went to hold open the door while Belle walked inside.

Belle walked into the diner and was met with a loud, "Surprise! Welcome back, Belle!"

Belle froze, shocked, a blush spreading over her features. "What—what is all this?"

Rumple joined her, his brown eyes twinkling. "It's just a little party that I thought up. A gathering of your friends and . . . err . . . it would have been family too, only I guess . . . your father decided not to come."

"It's okay, Rumple," Belle said. "I don't mind. My father and I . . . haven't gotten along since I told him it was my life and I would see you if I felt like it." She smiled at Ruby, Granny, Emma, Neal, Snow, and David.

Even Grumpy and some of his brothers were there, as well as a few others.

There were balloons and a colorful sign hung on the curtains that said _Welcome Back Belle!_ Gold escorted her to their usual table and Ruby laughingly took their order for hamburgers and iced tea.

Everyone was happy to see Belle back to her old self again, and they even welcomed Rumple, since he was the one who had restored her, and now that Cora was dead, they had nothing to fear from vengeful sorceresses. Neal had cured his father of the dreamshade poisoning with an antidote he'd learned about on Neverland as a boy, and he had also made up with him soon afterwards. Then he'd used his skills as a pickpocket to steal back the dagger from Cora and Rumple put paid to her scheme to take over Storybrooke. However, in the ensuing struggle, Regina decided to give Cora back her heart, in hopes that it would rekindle some love for her in her mother's selfish heart, but something had gone wrong and Cora had a seizure and died . . . from a surfeit of emotions.

Rumple had gone to pay his respects and Regina had told him to leave, that she needed no false mourners at her mother's funeral. He had replied, "I mourn what she could have been, had she let go of her pride and hatred. You might consider doing what she couldn't."

Then he had left and concentrated on restoring Belle's memories, succeeding a few hours later, and taking Belle back home to his house. He had arranged for the party at Granny's the next day.

They had just begun eating and Granny was bringing a cake into the room to celebrate, a chocolate one with two candles on it and Belle's name written in blue icing across it with a chipped cup in the center, when Regina and Hook entered the diner unexpectedly.

"You're having a party and you didn't send me an invite?" Regina declared coldly.

"Why would we invite you?" Grumpy asked sarcastically. "So we could lose our lunch?"

"Yeah, you were working with your mother to enslave us," Ashley pointed out.

Rumple's eyes tracked on Hook. Then they flashed molten steel. "Get out, pirate! Before I turn you into a door knocker!"

"You'd have to catch me first, crocodile!" Hook sneered, waving his good hand at Rumple's cane.

"Hey! You watch how you talk to my father!" Neal snapped, getting to his feet.

Hook started. "Baelfire?"

"That's right," Neal said tightly. "Fancy meeting you here, Hook. Now leave. This is a private party and you're not welcome here either. Not after what you've done to my family."

"Mate, I can explain. I had to give you up to Pan—"

"Spare me the excuses, Captain," Neal gritted out. "Now get your ass out of here, before I throw it out." He glared at the pirate.

"Make us," Regina taunted.

"Guys, just leave," Emma ordered. "Don't make me issue a warrant." She started to get to her feet.

"Ooh, now I'm scared! The savior has me shaking in my shoes!" Regina sneered.

Emma scowled, and held out a hand, trying to use a spell she'd seen Gold perform multiple times, and propel the two out of the diner.

But as she concentrated, something went wrong.

Regina held up a hand to deflect her spell.

There was a brilliant flash of light and purple smoke. And when it cleared Emma saw to her astonishment that Regina, Hook, Belle, Gold, Ruby, Snow, David, and King George, who'd been having his lunch in the corner by the window, were now children.

_Little children,_ no more than three or four at the most.

"Oh my God!" Emma gasped.

"Papa?" Neal was staring at his toddler father, who looked adorable in his tiny Armani suit, leaning on his cane and looking about in puzzlement. "Emma . . . he's a kid . . . they're _all_ kids again!"

"Mom?" Henry called to Regina, who was now an adorable three year old with a gamin grin and wondering dark eyes.

"I'm not a mom, silly!" she giggled. "I's a little girl! Who are you?"

"I'm Henry," Henry replied.

"I'm Regina . . . Regina Mills." She smiled at him. Then she looked at Belle and Rumple. "What's your name?"

"Belle French," Belle answered.

"Rumplestiltskin Gold," Rumple answered shyly.

"Rumplestiltskin!" Hook jeered. "What a stupid name!"

Rumple looked embarrassed.

A few of the other kids watching snickered.

"I don't think it's stupid at all," Belle argued. "It's different and I like it. And _you're_ an imbecile!"

"Huh? What's that?" Hook asked, puzzled.

"An idiot. Duh!" Rumple rolled his eyes at the former pirate.

"You calling me stupid?" Hook growled, looking like he wanted to hit Rumple with his hook.

"You said it," Rumple replied.

"I like your name too. It starts with an R, like mine," Regina put in.

"I'm gonna rearrange your face!" Killian snarled, and lunged at Rumple.

"Neal! Do something!" Emma cried, trying to figure out what she had done and try and reverse the spell.

But before Neal could grab Hook, Regina stuck out her foot and tripped him. "Oops!"

As Hook sprawled on the floor, Neal came and picked him up. "Hey! Stop picking fights, Killian." He grabbed the child's hand and took the hook off.

"Noo! Gimme it back!" Killian screeched, trying to grab the hook out of Neal's hand.

Neal just frowned at him. "No. You tried to hurt my . . . err . . . Rumple with that, so now it gets taken away. Now quit that screeching or else I'll put you in time out in the kitchen." He tucked the hook into his pocket.

"I hate you! You're mean!" Hook cried angrily.

Neal just shrugged. Then he looked at Emma. "Emma, what should we do?"

"I . . . I don't know, Neal. They're kids now . . . and we need to . . .figure this out . . ." she stammered.

"Well, somebody better do something!" Granny frowned. "I can't have all these kids in my diner!"

"I know!" Henry spoke up. "We need to put them in a daycare or something like that while Emma figures out how to reverse the spell."

"You're right, Henry. Do we . . . uh . . . have something like that here?" asked Neal.

"Not that I know of," Emma said.

"We could bring them to the convent." Henry suggested.

"I guess," Emma said, staring at her formerly adult parents, who were climbing on the seats and trying to eat the ice cream on the table. "But somebody better help us get them all there, because my car can't fit everyone."

"Right," Neal nodded. Then he set Killian down. "You stay here and don't move," he ordered. Then he said loudly, "Okay,kids, everybody line up because we're going somewhere fun." _God, I'm such a liar. Fun at the convent!_ As the kids started to line up, he noticed his father still standing near the booth, his eyes huge and scared. Seeing that expression in his eyes caused Neal's heart to ache.

He went and knelt before the child. "Hey, don't be scared. We're going to go to a place where you can play with the other kids. How's that sound? I'm Bae."

Rumple slowly nodded. "Will they make fun of my name?"

Neal shook his head. "No way! They'll deal with _me_ if they do, Rumple." He held out his arms and said, "C'mon, buddy. I'll carry you."

"Okay," and Rumple came and hugged his son.

Bae picked him up and then went over to Belle, and introduced himself. "You want me to hold you too?"

"Sure, Bae!" she jumped into his arms. "Do they got lots of books there? I can read."

"Uh, yeah, they've got storytime," Neal said, he was going to have to make sure the fairies did that.

"Yes! I love stories!" Belle clapped her hands.

"Me too. Do they do stories with voices?" asked Rumple.

"Uh, I don't know. We'll see," Neal laughed, thinking of how his papa used to do voices whenever he told stories to Neal as a kid. He felt a sudden rush of protectiveness as he cuddled both Belle and Rumple close.

Beside him, Henry was holding Regina, and Emma had picked up Snow and David. Granny had Ruby, and the others were standing quietly in line, though Killian was whining about getting his hook back.

Leroy took George, Ashley, Hook, Ruby, and Henry with him in his truck, and Emma took Snow, David, Belle, Rumple, and Regina with her, along with Neal.

As they were driving along, Regina looked out the window and said, "Are we there yet?"

Emma groaned. "We haven't even been in the car five minutes, kid."

"So? Are we?"

"Look out the window," Neal told her. "See how many things you can spot."

"Like what, Bae?" asked Rumple.

"It can be anything. You say, I spy with my little eye . . . and then name something. Like this—I spy with my little eye—Pongo walking with Archie!"

"Oh! Let me try!" Belle cried. She looked out the window. "I spy with my little eye . . .the library!" as they drove past it.

"Figures. She would spy that," Emma smirked.

"My turn!" Rumple said. "I spy with my little eye . . . a castle!" He pointed to the park.

Emma glanced at Bae. "Damn! He has good eyes!"

"He always did," Neal chuckled.

"Now me!" Regina said. "I spy . . . a kitty!" she pointed to a cat walking down the street.

"Aww! I wanna pet it!" Snow cooed.

"I spy . . . a tree!" David announced.

"I spy . . . a flower!" Snow cried.

"A flower? Where?" Regina asked.

"We went by it. It was pink with big green leaves."

"A rhododendron," Belle declared.

"How do you know that, Belle?" asked David.

"My papa taught me."

"My papa taught me how to ride a horse," Regina stated.

"My papa taught me how to watch sheep," David interjected.

"Mine taught me how to be polite to everyone," Snow said.

"My papa didn't teach me anything. Because he ran off and left me alone," Rumple said softly.

Neal and Emma winced upon hearing that. Then Neal said comfortingly, "Hey, buddy. You were probably better off without him. My mama ran off too when I was around your age and my papa raised me and I was lucky he did, 'cause he was great."

"Did your mama raise you?" Belle asked curiously.

Rumple shook his head. "No. Because she died when I was a baby. So Papa left me with some spinner ladies down the way—Elizabeth and Charlotte. But they were nice, they taught me to spin and made me meat pies."

"Mmm! I love pie!" Regina said, licking her lips. "Apple's my favorite!"

"Mine too!" Snow squealed.

"Jeez! Looks like they have a lot in common," Emma raised an eyebrow.

"I like blueberry," Belle said quietly.

"With ice cream?" Rumple queried.

"Uh huh. Or whipped cream," she said.

"I do too," Rumple said happily.

"My favorite's cherry . . . with whipped cream," David added.

"Looks like they only remember things about their childhood," Emma murmured to Neal.

"That's how a regression spell works," Neal answered. "Papa always told me when you regress a person's age, you also regress his or her memory too."

"So they remember nothing about their adult selves?"

"No," Neal answered. "Papa didn't remember me at all. Or Snow you. Or Regina didn't remember Henry either."

"I guess that's a good thing," Emma said.

Neal nodded. "Otherwise they'd go nuts, an adult mind trapped in a kid's body. And it gives us time to figure out how to reverse this spell."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted Hook and Regina to leave," Emma said regretfully. "I don't know what I did."

"It's okay. We'll figure it out. Papa miscast a lot of spells too when he first started." Neal gave her an encouraging smile. "Besides, we have his shop to look in."

"You have the key?"

"Yup. He gave me a copy," Neal said, and patted his pocket. "So we'll get Blue to watch the little ones while we look for a way to reverse this."

"I hope we can," Emma said worriedly.

"Oh, we can. Papa said every spell has its counter," Neal said confidently.

Just before the kids started arguing about which type of pie was better—Regina insisted apple was the best, David cherry, and Rumple argued that blueberry was—they arrived at the convent.

Rumple frowned upon seeing the building. "I don't like this place."

"Me neither," Belle added. "It looks scary."

"It looks like jail," Regina added.

"Why are we here, Emma?" asked David.

"Because you need to go to daycare while I go to work with Neal," the sheriff answered. "Okay, everybody out!"

They led the kids into the convent, and told Blue what had happened. Mother Superior was horrified.

"You want _me_ to take care of all these . . . children? Including the Evil Queen and the Dark One?" she protested.

"Hey, they're kids," Emma reprimanded. "Nobody's evil."

"And it's not like we have a choice," Neal said shortly. "We just need a day or so to figure this out. So please, help us out, okay. Just . . . run a daycare or whatever until we come back with the antidote."

Blue goggled at him. "I'm supposed to be a nanny now?"

"Governess," Neal interjected. "You ever see The Sound of Music? Pretend you're Maria von Trapp, Blue."

"Just give them a snack and lunch and have storytime and play games with them," Emma suggested. "Oh, and don't forget naptime."

"Yeah, naptime's a must," Neal smirked. "So's recess."

"You've got to be kidding!" Blue objected. "I'm a glorified babysitter!"

"Hey, there's worse things," Emma told her. "You'll be fine."

"We put the kids in the refectory," Neal said.

Then Emma and he left the office, stopping on the way out to say goodbye to Rumple and the others.

"Bae, why are you going away?" the little boy asked, limping over to Neal. "You're not . . . gonna leave like my papa?"

Neal knelt and hugged Rumple. "No, buddy. I'll be back in a few hours or so. I'm not leaving you, trust me." The frightened look in the huge brown eyes tore him to pieces. For a moment he thought about taking the little boy with him. But then he recalled his papa's rule about little kids and magic—they didn't mix. And he had to help Emma, he couldn't afford to be looking after an inquisitive toddler. So he said regretfully, "Look, Rumple. I promise I'll be back for you . . . this afternoon, okay? So you just . . . play with the other kids and have fun till I come back. Do we have a deal?" He held out his hand to shake.

"Deal," and Rumple shook his hand. Then he sniffled, "I'll miss you." Tears gathered in his eyes.

"Hey, come on, don't do that. Otherwise you'll become a waterfall," Neal teased gently, and wiped the child's eyes with his sleeve. Then he reached into a pocket and pulled out his favorite scarf. "Look! It's my favorite scarf. Now you keep this safe for me and I'll come pick it up when I'm done, okay?"

Rumple took the cashmere scarf and hugged it. "You trust me?"

"Oh, yeah. I know you'll take good care of it," Neal reassured him. _Like you did to me when I was little, before you became the Dark One._ He mussed Rumple's hair. "See you later, Rumple!" Then he rose to his feet and waited for Emma to finish saying goodbye to her parents and Regina.

As they left, Rumple waved, holding the scarf. "Bye, Bae!"

He blinked back tears as he did so.

George saw and snickered cruelly, saying, "Aww! You a crybaby, Gold?"

Rumple quickly wiped away the tears with Bae's scarf. "I am not!" he declared, turning to glare at the other boy, who was somewhat older, around four to his three and a half.

"Are too! Look at the blanky you've got!" George yelled, pointing to it.

"It's not a blanket, you crosseyed cow! It's a special scarf!" Rumple rolled his eyes at him. "Don't you know _anything_?"

"Yeah! I know you're a big crybaby, Rumple!" George shot back, clenching his fists. Then he went and shoved the other boy, making Rumple fall. "Now why don'tcha cry about it—_crybaby?_"

Rumple's lower lip trembled and he groped for his cane, still hugging the scarf to him.

"Hey! That's not nice!" Snow cried.

"You leave him alone, you big bully!" Belle shouted, going to help Rumple up.

"Baby! Baby! Stick your head in gravy!" Hook chanted, smirking at Rumple. "Wrap it up in bubble gum and send it to the navy!"

Several of the other kids giggled at that.

Belle handed Rumple his cane. "Just don't pay any 'tention to them meanies," she told Rumple. "My mama always says, sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you. And they don't know what they're talkin' about!"

Rumple smiled gratefully at the little bookworm, who was carrying a large leather book under one arm.

Regina turned and glared at Hook. "Oh yeah? How 'bout this? Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, can Killian come out to play?" Then she made her voice a little shriller. "Why, Regina, you know he only has one hand, dear! Then can we use him as a hat rack?"

David, Ashley, Ruby, and Rumple cracked up. Even George began laughing, until Hook shot him a glare and he stopped.

"That ain't funny!" Hook snapped at Regina.

"You're right . . . it's not," she agreed. "It's _hilarious!_" Then she giggled hysterically.

Hook moved, his left hand raised, as if to hit Regina.

Rumple scowled. "Coward! Only cowards hit girls!"

"Shut up, gimpy!" snarled the dark-haired boy.

"Bullies are always cowards," Belle snorted.

"Who asked you, bookworm?" George sneered.

Just then Blue came into the refectory. "Attention, children! I am Mother Superior, but you can refer to me as Miss Blue!" she clapped her hands sharply to get their attention. "I'd like you to follow me down the hall and into the classroom, where I'll get to know you and we can have storytime." She gave them a false smile of welcome.

The children cheered and followed her out the door.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Roll and Storytime:_

Once the children were inside the large room off the refectory, it had once been another dining hall, or so Blue thought, which her fairies had converted into a combination of classroom and play area, complete with rolled up mats for sleeping, toys and several tables with little chairs as well as a chalkboard and chalk, Blue said, "All right, children. Sit down here on the carpet," there was a strip of blue carpet on one side of the room. "And we'll call roll. When I say your name, please answer, "Here!" or "Present". Belle French . . ."

As each child answered, Blue checked them off on a list Emma had made for her.

Once all of the children were accounted for, Blue put the list away and reached for a book she had brought beside her. Then she went and sat on a chair with the book and beckoned to her new class. "Okay, gather around for storytime, boys and girls."

George and Hook promptly pushed their way to the front, leaving the others to gather around as best they could.

Rumple stood on his tiptoes, murmuring, "I can't see!"

Blue eyed him reprovingly. "Mr. Gold, sit _down_! You too, Miss Mills!"

"But we can't see when you hold up the book," Regina pointed out.

"That's too bad. There's a reason why you're back there," Blue snorted.

"Why?" asked Rumple, puzzled.

"It's because you and Regina wicked little brats!" Blue told him.

"No, we ain't! We didn't do nothin', lady!" shrilled Regina.

"Oh, yes you did. You're the Evil Queen and he's the Dark One," Blue snapped. "You're both evil magic users and we don't want your kind up front with all the good little children . . . right, class?"

"Yes, Miss Blue!" they all parroted . . . all except for Belle.

Belle promptly got up and went to sit next to Rumple and Regina.

"Belle, I'm not a wicked sorcerer!" Rumple sniffled. "I'm not!"

"Yeah and I'm not evil either!" Regina cried, also looking upset. "She's crazy!"

"I know. She's being . . . err . . . I forget what my mama called people like her . . ." Belle frowned, squeezing Rumple's hand.

"Stupid blue bums?" Regina guessed.

"Nasty Gnats?" was Rumple's contribution.

"Blue Butt Munchers!" Belle suddenly cried.

The three burst out laughing, giggling like there was no tomorrow.

Blue looked over the top of the book she was reading. "Just what is going on back there?"

"I dunno," Rumple answered, playing dumb.

"The story's funny," Belle said quickly.

"Yeah, we really like it," Regina added. "Read some more, Miss Blue!"

"Very well," Blue continued reading.

"It's so boring!" Rumple whispered to Belle. "She can't do voices or anything!"

"Stupid blue butthole!" Regina added. Then she giggled behind her hand.

"Belle, watch this!" Rumple said, and he held out his hand . . . and a small perfect red rose appeared in it. "Look . . . I made it for you." He held out the rose shyly.

"Thanks, Rumple!" Belle took it and smelled it. "I love roses!"

"See? Not all magic's evil like the Blue Butt Muncher says," Regina hissed.

Rumple yawned a little. "Now I feel kinda sleepy. Belle, what's that book you got?"

"Uh . . . I found it on the table in the other place. It's called _Once Upon a Time,_" Belle said, showing them it. "See? It's got neat pictures and everything."

"Cool! Can you read it to us?" asked Regina. "It looks better than her dumb old book any day."

Belle smiled, and the three tiptoed away from the main group and across the room by a large plastic doll house, and Belle read to them the tale of The 12 Dancing Princesses. Rumple and Regina were enthralled.

Belle finished the story and shut the book just as Blue finished hers. As the three crept back beside the circle, Blue said brightly, "Okay, class, now let's—"

Killian raised a hand. "Miss Blue, I gotta take a leak. Where's the head?"

"Eeew! You wanna pee on somebody's _head_?" Ashley squeaked.

"Yuck!" cried Ruby, looking grossed out.

"Only birds do that," Snow reminded everyone.

Hook opened his mouth to explain, when Blue interrupted. "Mr. Jones, the potty is through there," she pointed out a small door in the corner. "And the proper way to ask is, Miss Blue I need to use the bathroom. Or I need to relieve myself."

"Huh? What's relieve mean?" David asked, puzzled.

"It's a polite way to say you have to urinate," Belle informed him.

"What's _that_ mean?" David scratched his head.

"It means you gotta go pee," Rumple answered.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Then why not just _say_ that? Peeing is peeing. Everybody does it."

Rumple shrugged. Who knew why grown-ups did anything?

A few moments later, they all heard the toilet flush. Then it flushed again . . . and again . . .

Blue looked uneasy.

Then Killian emerged from the bathroom. "Uh . . . Miss Blue . . . the toilet broke . . ."

"Broke?" Blue repeated.

Suddenly water began seeping onto the carpet.

"Eeew! Pee pee!" Ashley screamed. She jumped back so the wet stain didn't touch her sneakers.

"Yuck! What'd you do, Mr. Brilliant?" cried Ruby.

"He used too much paper," Belle answered knowingly.

"I did not!" Killian cried. "The stupid toilet broke!"

"And you broke it," Rumple reminded him.

The wet stain was advancing, and the children all shrank back and screamed, running across the room.

"It's the Pee Monster! Run for your lives!" yelped David, and he nearly knocked Snow down trying to be the fastest across the room.

"What an idiot!" Regina rolled her eyes at little Charming.

Blue sensed she was losing control of the situation rapidly. "Children, relax! I've got it all under control." She pulled her wand from up her sleeve and marched over to where the stain was spreading.

Then she waved her wand and the toilet was fixed and the water vanished.

"See? It's all fixed."

"Hey!" Rumple pointed at her. "You . . . used magic!"

Belle frowned at the fairy. "Umm . . . Miss Blue . . . if you used magic . . . doesn't that make _you_ evil?"

The other children gasped and stared at the fairy.

"Yeah, how come you can and we can't?" Regina demanded, glowering at their teacher.

"My magic isn't the same!" Blue said haughtily. "Now enough questions. It's time for a snack and then arts and crafts. Won't that be fun?"

The kids cheered.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Snack time and Arts and Crafts:_

Blue's helper fairies, Red, Pink, and White, came in with small cartons of milk for the children with plastic straws and some cheese crackers and carrot sticks. Blue told the children to sit down and they would each get a snack and some milk. George sat next to Killian and whispered, "Let's play a trick on the teacher!"

"Like what?" whispered Hook.

"Like . . . here, put a tack on her chair." He handed Hook a small thumb tack he'd found on the floor.

Killian grinned, then slipped from his seat and put the tack on the big chair where Blue sat.

Then he scurried back to his seat and began slurping his milk loudly.

Snow frowned at him irritably. "You shouldn't do that. It's bad manners."

"Yeah. Only peasants slurp," Ashley put in.

"Who cares?" said George and he began to blow bubbles in his milk.

Ruby and David followed suit and soon all of them were giggling.

"Quiet and eat your snack like little ladies and gentlemen!" Blue ordered. She scowled down at Rumple. "Mr. Gold, if you can't stop inciting a mutiny, you can go eat in the hall."

Rumple blinked at her. "But . . . but it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!"

"Rumple's right," argued Belle. "It was Hook."

"I don't want to hear you, Little Miss Know It All!" growled Blue, eyeing Belle with dislike. "Mind what I said, or else!"

Rumple drooped in his seat. "Why's she picking on me?"

"Because she's a Blue Butt Muncher!" snorted Regina. She bit off a carrot stick and said, "Look I just bit off her head!"

Rumple smiled, and ate his crackers.

Blue smiled smugly to herself, congratulating herself on putting the Dark One in his place, and sat down on her chair.

"Ahhh!" she shrieked, and jumped up, grabbing her butt.

"What happened?" Snow cried, looking alarmed.

"Looks like something bit her," David observed.

"Maybe she got stung by a bee," Ruby suggested.

"Good!" Regina snickered.

"Serves her right," agreed Rumple, and Belle nodded.

Meanwhile, Killian and George were laughing their heads off.

Blue healed her sore behind with magic after vanishing the tack. Angrily, she stomped back over to the table and snapped, "When I find out who did this . . . you're going to be in serious trouble, am I clear?"

"Yes, Miss Blue!"

"Now hurry up and eat, so we can do our craft project," Blue said.

"What are we doing, Miss Blue?" asked Snow curiously.

"Err . . . we're making spring pictures," Blue answered.

"Cool!" Ashley looked happy at that.

Regina made a face. "How boring!"

As they all went to throw out their trash in the big garbage can in the hallway, Rumple noticed a little gray spider spinning a web in the corner. He gently picked it up and brought it into the room.

"Look, Miss Blue! A spider is a good sign of spring! See, she's spinning a web to catch flies!" He went and showed the fairy the little arachnid.

Blue stared at the tiny spider, her eyes nearly falling out of her head.

"AHHH! Get it away, you rotten little imp! How dare you show me that?" She knocked Rumple's hand away, screaming.

"But Miss Blue, spiders are our friends," argued Belle. "They help eat bad bugs in the garden. My papa said so."

Blue began trying to stomp the hapless spider.

Regina started giggling. "She's afraid of a little ole bug!"

Soon the whole class was laughing at the sight Blue made.

Furious, she marched over and grabbed Regina's ear and Rumple's ear.

"Oww!" whimpered the little boy.

"Hey! Leggo of me!" Regina yelped.

"Corner, both of you!" ordered the irate fairy. "You tried to humiliate me on purpose! Now you can be in time out and no arts and crafts. You too, Miss French, for aiding and abetting them!"

"But we weren't being mean!" Belle protested, her blue eyes filling with tears.

"You were being typical evil brats . . . all of you! Now stand there and no talking!"

All three children ended up with their noses against a wall, feeling vastly put upon.

Meanwhile, Blue summoned crayons, washable markers, paper, safety scissors, and construction paper for the others to make pictures about spring with.

After five minutes, Blue said the three could come out, but they had to stand along the wall and not move.

George and Killian made faces at them, clearly delighting that they were in trouble.

Regina, Belle, and Rumple made faces back.

Blue went to stand in the hall to speak with one of her fairies, asking if they'd heard from Emma or Neal yet.

"I'll show her arts and crafts!" Regina muttered rebelliously, and she grabbed some paper and a red crayon off the table. "Belle, how good can you spell?"

"Pretty good. Why?"

"Cause I want you to make a sign. Write KICK ME, on this."

Belle took the crayon and wrote. "There! Done!"

Regina gave a diabolical smirk. "Good! Now, Rumple, you put it on her."

Rumple took the sign and some Scotch tape, and crept up behind her. Then he taped the sign to Blue's butt.

He limped hastily back to the wall just as she turned and went back to the head of the table and began to praise everyone's artistry.

As she bent over Snow's picture, rhapsodizing over the lovely bird she had made, Regina crept up behind her and promptly kicked Blue's butt.

"Ouch!" Blue cried, and looked behind her angrily.

But there was no one there.

Against the wall, Regina smiled slyly.

"You see that?"George whispered to Killian. "It's a KICK ME sign."

"I know, mate. I have an older brother. Think I should do it?"

"Sure!" George snickered.

So Hook ran up and booted Blue in the ass.

"Oww!" the fairy scowled, and then she whirled around . . . and caught Hook doubled over laughing. "Mr. Jones! You evil little bilge rat! Now go stand in the corner!"

"Aww, but Miss Blue . . .! it was a joke!"

"Now, Mr. Jones!"

Killian slouched over to the corner. This really sucked!

Along the wall, Rumple, Regina, and Belle rolled their eyes and Belle asked, "Hey, Killian, how do you like the wall?"

"Isn't it fun?" queried Regina.

"You can count the bricks in the wall," Rumple added.

Killian turned around and snapped. "Aww, shut it, idiots!"

"Mr. Jones! No talking!" came Blue's voice.

"They started it!" he whined.

"No talking back, either!" she put in.

Hook groaned and vowed revenge on the gimpy little crybaby and his crew.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Blue had them all sit down and practice their A, B, C's, except for Belle, who knew them already and she gave her ten words to write. Then she checked her watch and noted with relief it was about forty minutes till lunchtime. She contacted the cooking staff and told her what she wanted sent up for each child.

She glanced over at the children and thought in relief that for once they all seemed to be behaving, even the Dark One and the Evil Queen. And their tagalong, Know-It-All Belle.

She pulled out a compact and went inside the bathroom to give herself a touch up.

**Page~*~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Lunch and Recess:_

Lunch arrived, brought in by more of Blue's helpers. Regina watched eagerly as she saw a tray being placed before Snow, Ruby, Ashley, David, and the others. On it was a yummy looking peanut butter and jelly sandwich, milk, apple slices, and a chocolate pudding.

"Mmm! I'm starving!" she announced to Rumple and Belle.

"Me too," admitted Rumple.

"So am I," Belle added.

Then the helper nuns put down their trays. On them were bowls of gluey corn mush, some stale looking carrot sticks, and a package of hard raisins.

Rumple stared in dismay. "What's _this_?"

"Where's my sandwich like theirs?" Belle asked, looking at the mush distastefully, her lower lip trembling.

"Hey! Where's our chocolate pudding?" demanded Regina.

Blue came out of the bathroom just in time to hear the little girl's complaint.

"Lunch is served, children! Now all of you eat up so you can grow big and strong!"

"This is 'sgusting!" Regina cried. "This is . . . pig slop!"

"Actually, it's what naughty little brats get here," Blue snapped.

"But . . . but Hook was bad too!" protested Rumple. "So how come he gets peanut butter and jelly?"

"It's no fair!" Belle sniffed. The mush was cold and tasted like paste.

"Ungrateful brat! You'll eat it and like it!" growled Blue.

Rumple scowled at his mush. He'd eaten worse before, but he wasn't about to take this lying down. "I'd rather starve!" Bae had promised he'd have fun here and so far it had been awful! Except for being with Belle and Regina.

"Mother Superior, you have a phone call," one of her helpers called.

"Keep eating, ducks! Be right back!" Then Blue darted from the room.

Once she was gone, Rumple looked over at Ashley. "Hey . . . what'll you trade for half your sandwich? Wanna make a deal?"

Ashley looked over at his lunch. "You ain't got nothin' I like."

Rumple sighed and resigned himself to going hungry.

Next to Ashley, Snow was rearranging things on her plate. She was very picky about her food, and everything had to be just so. Nothing could be touching each other.

"What are you _doing_?" asked David as he scarfed down his sandwich.

"Fixing my food," Snow replied somewhat snootily.

"Just eat it," the blonde-haired boy said.

Regina looked over at the other girl and was suddenly filled with irritation and jealousy. Blue fawned over the pretty girl and Regina was mad because Snow wasn't any better than she was.

Regina concentrated and a sandwich with some wriggly worms appeared in front of her. She picked it up and plunked it down on Snow's plate. "There! You don't like peanut butter and jelly, Miss Picky, then how 'bout a fried worm wich!"

Snow's dark eyes grew bigger and bigger in her pale face as she stared at the worm wich.

"EEEEWWWW!"

Regina smirked and grabbed half of Snow's sandwich. "Mmm! See what happens when you're picky?"

Snow burst into tears and Hook and George made fake crying sounds and yelled, "Crybaby! Aww!"

"Shut up, you big fat cockapoo heads!" David yelled, then he picked up the worm wich and threw a worm at George.

George promptly threw an apple slice back and soon there was a food fight going on.

Rumple aimed his mush at Hook's head, and soon the little boy was wearing sticky globs of mush.

"I'm still hungry!" moaned Belle, crunching on a carrot stick.

"I'll fix that!" Regina said, and she clapped her hands. Suddenly their side of the table was filled with croissants with cheese in them, cupcakes, apple turnovers, and brownies. And huge glasses of milk.

Belle smiled. "Awesome, Regina!"

"Here! How about some ice cream?" Rumple said, and then chocolate sundaes with whipped cream and cherries on top also appeared before them.

"Now this is what I call _food_!" Regina stated, and then she bit into a turnover.

Rumple happily dug into his sundae and Belle ate a cheese filled croissant and a cupcake, sighing in bliss.

At the other end of the table, Ruby sniffed the air and smelled the sugary goodness and then turned and saw the feast the other three were having.

"I want some! Please?" she ran over to them.

"Here," Belle gave her a cupcake and a turnover.

"Thanks!"

"I want some!" George demanded rudely.

"No!" Rumple said. "Go eat your own food!"

"Wicked brat! Crippled coward!"

Rumple's eyes narrowed. "Butthole!" Then he flicked his hand and sent George flying into some blocks across the room.

"Oooh! I'm telling!" Hook hooted.

Rumple turned and looked at the grinning one-handed child. "Go ahead. If you want to wear the rest of your lunch, Hook."

"Never mind," coughed Killian.

As Regina, Rumple, and Belle devoured the sweets they'd conjured, Blue came back into the room.

"What on earth is going on here?" she cried at the wreck that greeted her eyes.

Food was all over the floor, the kids . . . and . . . "Who said you could have ice cream!?"

"Want some?" Regina giggled, then she put some on her spoon, and catapulted it at the fairy.

It struck Blue right on the face. Splat!

"Yay! Food fight!" Rumple cheered . . . and aimed the rest of his mush at Blue's head.

The fairy soon had every child in class throwing food . . . at her.

After ten minutes she finally quit dodging food and her uniform was covered with various stains and splotches.

"You . . . you . . . little beasts!" she shrilled. Wringing her hands, she waved her wand, and vanished the food from her person and the room.

"Maybe you need to have recess, Mother," began one of her helpers.

The fairy nearly threw up her hands. "Fine! Let's go outside!"

The hyperactive sugar high children raced out of the convent and into the walled lawn and garden. One of the helpers handed out some balls and plastic bats and another gave some of the girls some dress up hats and wands.

Ashley, Ruby, Regina, and Snow started playing dress-up.

David and George began playing a game of catch, but George missed the ball . . . and it sailed right across the lawn . . . and hit Blue in the head.

"Yeeoww!" she cried, rubbing her head.

"Oopsie! Sorry!" David grinned sheepishly at her.

"Stupid boy!" Blue swore.

Belle and Rumple were going to sit down on the wall and Belle wanted to read some more of the Once Upon a Time book to him, since she could read more of the longer words than he could.

It was then that Hook saw his chance.

He ran up behind Rumple and used his hand to give Rumple a wedgie.

"Oww! You dumb butthole!" Rumple yelped, and then ran his hand down his behind, trying to fix what the other had done.

Hook ran over to George, laughing gleefully.

Belle glared at the mischievous boy. "What'd he do to you, Rumple?"

Rumple sighed. "He gave me a wedgie. But I fixed it."

Belle gave Rumple a look. "Somebody needs to teach him a good lesson. How do you do it?"

Rumple goggled at her. "You . . . _you're_ gonna . . . seriously, dearie?"

Belle nodded. "Tell me."

Rumple bent and whispered in her ear.

Then he gaped in shock as Belle handed him her precious book and ran across the grass.

She circled around the three boys playing, until she got close enough to Hook's backside.

Then she darted in and yanked his pants _and_ his undies up _hard_.

Hook's mouth formed an "O".

Then he yelled and started dancing around.

David and George both cracked up laughing, as did Rumple and Belle.

Then Belle ran back to Rumple and gave him a high five.

"The Brilliant Bookworm Trio strikes again!" Rumple crowed.

Regina grew bored after awhile playing princesses with the other girls, and came back to listen to Belle reading to Rumple. "What'd you do to Pick-His-Nose Hook?"

"Uh . . . I gave him a wedgie," Belle admitted shyly. "Cause he gave one to Rumple, the rat!"

"That why he was screamin' like somebody kicked him in the nuts?"

"Yeah, that's why," Rumple smirked.

"Cool!" Regina gave Belle a high five.

Rumple went over to see a flower growing out of the top of the flower bed in the wall and as he did so, David jumped up on the top of it and cried, "Watch me, Snow! Watch me!"

He began to run along the top of the wall, his arms outstretched for balance.

Halfway across, he got his sneaker stuck in a small crack and tripped . . . falling right off the wall and landing hard on his knees and hand.

"David!" Snow gasped. "Are ya hurt?"

"Uh . . ." David went to look at his hand, which really hurt . . . and then he saw the blood all over it and his knees, which were torn. "I'm . . . bleeding!" He started to cry.

"Uh . . . I'll get Miss Blue!" Snow cried, and ran across the lawn yelling for her.

"Whoa! That looks really bad, mate!" Hook cried.

"Yeah, maybe you'll need to get stitches!" George said.

"No! I don't wanna get them!" wailed the blonde boy. Tears fell down his face as he cradled his hand to him.

"I knew a guy who was in my dad's guard who needed to get them . . . and he screamed like he was bein' murdered!" reported George.

David sobbed harder.

"Shut up, jackass!" Rumple ordered, limping over. "You don't know anything."

"Wanna knuckle sandwich, cripple?"

"Wanna be a snail?" Regina growled.

George shook his head.

Rumple knelt by David. "Hey, lemme see your hand."

"Don't hurt me, Rumple! I don't wanna get stitches," blubbered the former prince.

"I'm not gonna stitch anything," Rumple shook his head. He took David's hand in his. "I'm just gonna do . . . this!"

And some purple magic flowed from him . . . and healed David's hand and his knees in a twinkling.

"Wow! You . . . you _healed_ me!" David cried, shocked.

"See? Magic isn't all bad," Rumple said, then he yawned. "But now I'm really sleepy."

"How come?" asked Charming curiously.

"B'cuz all magic . . . comes with a price," replied the small sorcerer, and he rubbed his eyes.

Just then Blue came up with Snow and said, "What happened, Mr. Nolan?"

"I fell off the wall and scraped my knee and hand, but Rumple healed me!"

Blue gave Rumple a sharp Look. "You let the Dark One heal you?"

"Yeah, so's I didn't have to get stitches," David said stoutly. "And he ain't dark."

"Humph!" snorted Blue. "Let's go inside now. Recess is over. It's nap time."

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Nap time:_

Blue had all the kids get out their soft foam mats colored a dark blue color, and handed out pillows to everyone. She drew the blinds over the windows and said, "Now all of you lie down and close your eyes."

Two minutes later, Snow whined, "Miss Blue? I can't fall asleep. Can't you sing me a song? My mommy always sang me to sleep."

"Err . . . well . . . okay, Snow . . ." Blue burbled. She couldn't refuse her favorite anything. She cleared her throat and began to sing "When You Wish Upon a Star."

But her singing was so terrible David hid his head under the pillow, whispering, "I wish I was deaf!"

"She sounds worse than two cats screaming at night," Belle whimpered, putting her hands to her ears.

"My ears hurt!" Ashley whined.

"Mate, you sound worse than a banshee!" Hook moaned.

But Blue kept singing loudly.

Rumple tied his scarf about his head to block out the awful noise.

Regina stood up on her mat and cried, "Hey! No singing! It sucks! Everybody, let's have a protest!"

"What's that?" asked Ruby.

"When we all do something to get somebody to stop doing something else! Grown-ups do it all the time," the former mayor cried.

"What should we do?" asked Rumple.

Snow was cringing on her mat. "Miss Blue, you can stop singing now."

But Blue was really into it now, and kept right on going.

Regina began jumping up and down on her mat, and singing—loudly but in tune—"Five Little Monkeys Jumpin' on the Bed! One fell off and bumped his head!"

"Mama called the doctor and the doctor said—" Rumple sang.

"—no more monkeys jumping on the bed!" Belle finished.

"Sing it!" Regina commanded.

The other kids all started jumping and singing to drown out Blue's voice.

The fairy halted after five minutes, because she couldn't hear her own voice any longer over the children's. "Children! This is supposed to be nap time, not play time! Why are you all behaving like . . like hooligans?"

"Miss Blue . . . I'm sorry . . . but we're staging a protest," Snow informed her.

"You can quit caterwauling now, lady!" Hook cried.

"Caterwauling! Mr. Jones, you're getting on my last nerve! Now everybody . . . quiet!"

The kids settled down, lying on their mats, and Blue thought that perhaps she could get some peace now that they were all asleep.

Until there came a loud obnoxious noise from someone.

Then Ashley cried, "Umm . . . something smells . . ."

"Eeww! George, you farted!" David groaned. "Somebody get a gas mask!"

"Yuck!"

"Gross!"

"He farted! He farted!" Snow chirped. "Miss Blue, we need air freshner!"

Abruptly Hook put his stump beneath his elbow and started making fart noises.

"It's fart heaven!" David yelled, and then he was doing it too, along with George, Ruby, and Hook.

Blue was appalled. "Stop it! You're behaving like pigs!"

"Pig farts smell the worst!" crowed Hook.

"Nuh-uh!" disagreed Rumple. "Sheep do! They smell like somebody died."

"You mean they make you _wish_ you died," corrected David.

"My horse farted once . . ." Regina remarked. "It was like a stink bomb went off."

"Eeewww!"

Belle grimaced. "Rumple, gimme your scarf!"

Rumple handed her his scarf and she put it over her nose and breathed through it. "Ahh! That's better!"

The farting noises continued, followed by giggles and belches.

"Enough!" Blue bellowed. "The next one of you brats who says anything is getting in _serious_ trouble with me!"

Belle had almost fallen back to sleep when Blue's shouting woke her. Yawning, she unwound Rumple's scarf and mumbled, "Here, Rumple," and went to give her friend his scarf back.

"That's it!" Blue snarled. "You! Miss French! Come up here!"

"W-Why? What'd I do?" Belle was suddenly terrified of the wild-eyed fairy. Her knees shaking, she made her way up to where the fairy waited, clutching her book to her chest.

The other kids were sitting up on their mats, watching like deer caught in headlights.

Blue reached out and snatched the book from Belle's grasp. "Give me that!"

"No, please . . . not my book . . ." Belle cried, her hands reaching for her precious book.

Blue smiled maliciously. "You disobeyed me, Miss French. Now you suffer the consequences." She opened the book and pointed to it.

"I'm sorry . . . I didn't know . . . I just woke up . . ." Belle's eyes were huge in her face.

"No excuses! Lean over the book," Blue ordered, her voice cold as winter.

"Don't you hurt her!" Rumple cried, getting to his feet.

Belle sniffled and obeyed, too scared not to.

Then Blue shut the book on her little nose . . . hard!

"The nose in the book penalty!" she cackled.

Belle yelled, for her poor nose felt like it had been punched and was all red and throbbing.

"You're a wicked witch!" cried Regina.

The other children nodded in agreement.

Belle put her face in her hands and cried softly.

"Quit that noise, you little drama queen!" Blue scolded. "Now get back to your mat!" She pointed to the empty blue mat.

Rumple was furious. He had never hated anyone as much as he did that fairy at that moment. She had hurt poor Belle, who had done nothing to deserve any of it! And he was sick and tired of it! "You're a nasty wicked tyrant!"

Anger pulsed behind his eyes and he glared at the abusive teacher and made a quick gesture.

And suddenly fire erupted from the seat of Blue's habit.

"OWWW!"

Blue's screech could have been heard in Alaska.

Yelping like a whipped cur, the fairy turned and ran for the courtyard fountain, to douse her burning behind.

"Whoo hoo!" Regina giggled. "Good going, Rumple!"

Rumple smiled shyly. "She deserved it," was all he said, then he went to hug Belle. "Belle, lemme see."

"I'm . . . okay now, Rumple." Belle said, trying to be brave. "It doesn't hurt all that bad."

"Let me fix it," he murmured, then he touched his hand to her red nose.

It healed in a twinkling.

Just as he put his hand down, now feeling more drained than ever and wanting to go back and take a long nap, the Blue Fairy strode into the room, her face dark as a thundercloud.

"Rumplestiltskin, come with me!" she snarled, and then she grabbed Rumple and tucked him beneath her arm and carried him out of the room.

"No! Rumple!" Belle cried, horrified. But when she ran to follow, the door shut and locked itself in her face.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Blue stormed out of the room and down a long hall to her office, her wayward charge tucked under her arm. Once inside her office, where none of her people dared to come unless she allowed it, she grabbed the disobedient Dark One by the back of his suit collar and held him up before her face.

"How _dare_ you use your foul magic on _me_, you wretched beast?" she was so mad flecks of spit were emerging from her mouth and landing on Rumple.

Rumple was nearly choked by her stranglehold on his collar. "You . . . hurt Belle . . . she didn't . . . know . . ."

"So what? I'll teach you to disobey me! To light me on fire, you wicked evil thing! You're going to pay, Rumplestiltskin! Like you should have years ago!" Blue cried, and then she drew a long ruler from her desk drawer.

Rumple's eyes widened in fear. "No!"

"Oh, yes!" the fairy cried. "Somebody should have beaten the evil out of you long ago, brat!"

Rumple tried to summon up his magic, but it was no use. All magic came with a price, and he had exhausted himself.

Smirking in malicious delight, the fairy flung the helpless child across her lap, pinned him there, and began to beat him with the ruler.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Neal and Emma arrived back at the convent, very excited. They had finally, with the aid of some of Rumple's spellbooks in his back room, discovered a potion that Emma and Neal brewed together that could counteract her spell. Now they entered the convent and headed down the hall to Blue's office.

As they drew close to the door, a young fairy intercepted them. "You mustn't disturb Mother Superior. She's . . . err . .. issuing a punishment."

"She's what?" Emma repeated.

Just then they heard the unmistakable sound of something hitting flesh . . . followed by a child's thin cry of pain.

Neal pushed past the fairy nun and burst into the office.

His eyes widened in fury and horror as he beheld Blue _beating_ his helpless three-year-old father with a ruler.

"What the **hell** are you doing?" he yelled, and caught her arm before she could bring the ruler down on Rumple again. "You **crazy**?"

"No! Release me! The Dark One needs discipline!" Blue retorted.

"_That's_ what you call discipline, lady?" Emma snapped. "Beating a little boy with a _ruler_?"

Neal snatched the ruler away and tossed it to Emma. Then he took Rumple from the fairy's lap and held him. "Shhh! I'm so sorry she hurt you! So sorry!" he hugged and rocked the stricken boy and glared a death glare at Blue. "How dare you hurt an innocent child like that?"

"Innocent! He's a dark sorcerer, evil to the core! He lit me on _fire_!" Blue cried, incensed.

"Why? What'd you do?" Emma demanded. "Gold wouldn't do that because he felt like it."

Rumple lifted his head from Neal's shoulder, tears still falling from his eyes. "She . . . she . . . _hurt_ . . . B-belle . . .shut her n-nose in a book and . . . made her cry . . ."

"You miserable harpy!" Neal spat, rubbing circles on Rumple's back. "What else went on here that you don't want anyone to know about?"

"You left these brats in my care, Baelfire!"

"Exactly, I expected you to treat them kindly, they're children after all . . . not beat them like rugs! I don't care what he's done, you don't hurt him like that!" raged Neal.

Emma stared at the fairy in loathing. "You know, I never really trusted or liked you, and now I know why. You're a hypocritical bitch! What else did you do to these kids?" her tone softened as she looked at Rumple. "Tell me, Gold. It's okay, she can't hurt you now."

Inbetween sniffles, Rumple told her everything. How Blue had singled out him and Regina and Belle for unfair treatment at snack and lunch and everything, and overlooked misbehavior from other kids in order to punish those she felt more "deserving" of her wrath.

Neal felt his temper skyrocket. He had trusted the Blue Fairy with the lives of these children . . . and especially his father. And she had betrayed him in the worst way possible. His eyes hard as flint, he said to Emma, "You know . . . we came here to reverse the spell you cast, Emma. But now I wish you could cast it again . . . on _her_."

Emma nodded grimly. "So maybe she can see what it's like to be helpless and at the mercy of someone bigger and stronger, someone who thinks a child needs to be beaten to teach him right from wrong."

"The Dark One is always wrong!" Blue cried. "He's a demon!"

"No . . . _you_ are . . ." Neal rasped. "What kind of person are you, to so brutalize a helpless child?"

"The kind who belongs locked behind bars," Emma said tightly. "Or given the same treatment as the one she hurt."

"You can't do that!" Blue laughed wildly.

"Watch me," Neal snarled.

Emma gestured . . . and the Blue Fairy became a young girl, about five.

Neal handed Rumple to Emma and grabbed the child Blue and sat down in the chair she had vacated. "Now . . . what's good for the gander is good for the goose . . . and how about I punish _you_ for hurting little kids?" he snapped. Then he pulled her over his knee and walloped her once, twice, thrice with the ruler.

Then tossed it aside and continued spanking her with just his hand, lecturing her as he did so, just the way his father had done once to him. "You don't hit little kids with rulers . . . and you don't favor one kid over another . . . and you don't be mean and nasty to kids you don't like . . ." He punctuated each sentence with another firm whack.

Blue sobbed and squirmed, but was unable to avoid Neal's hand.

The office door opened, and Nova stuck her head in. "Blue . . . why have you locked the children in the room—good heavens!"

Her jaw dropped when she saw what was going on in the office.

" . . . and _this_ is what you get for hurting Rumple . . ." Neal continued lecturing and spanking, his temper raging like a wildfire.

Blue howled and kicked futilely.

"I . . . don't understand . . ."

"We found her beating the crap out of poor Rumple and abusing him, Regina, and Belle," Emma told her. "So Neal and I decided to show her how it feels to be on the receiving end of some of her style of discipline."

"I see . . ." Nova nodded.

"Nova . . . help . . .!"

Nova shook her head. "Sorry, I need to be going now . . ." and she turned and walked out.

Rumple suddenly wriggled out of Emma's arms. "Bae . . . Bae . . . stop!" he went and touched Neal's wrist gently. "Don't . . . don't do this anymore."

His son stared at him. "Why? Don't you think she deserves it after what she did to you?" He was breathing somewhat harshly.

"I . . . did, at first . . . but now . . . I want you to stop because . . . I don't want you to . . . become like her. _Please_, Bae." His brown eyes met those of his son's.

Neal halted his punishment, his anger dying to embers. "Okay, Rumple. You're right, I don't want to be like her." He picked up the sobbing child and said sternly, "Remember this, and don't ever make me do this again, understand?"

"Yes . . . sir . . ." Blue bawled, holding her bottom with both hands. "I'm sorry!"

"Good, you ought to be," Neal said shortly. "Now you owe _him_, Blue. Not so dark now, is he?"

Blue shook her head rapidly. She knew, no matter how much she hated it, that Rumple's intervention had saved her butt, literally. And he had no reason to do such a thing . . . save for his own sense of compassion.

"You go and stand in the corner," Neal ordered. "And don't move until I tell you that you can."

He waited until she had done so, standing in a corner of the office, before he followed Emma out the door and down the hall. "Rumple, where's the room where you kids are?"

"Over here, Bae," Rumple took his hand and led him down the hall, limping badly because his leg and bottom still hurt.

When they reached the door, Emma unlocked it by picking the lock, and when she opened it they were met by several ecstatic kids.

"You're back!" cried Snow happily.

"Told you I would be!" Emma greeted her.

"Rumple, are you all right?" Belle cried, hugging him. "Did she hurt you?"

"She . . . smacked me with a ruler, but Bae came and . . . he stopped her and then he spanked _her_ . . ." Rumple reported.

"Good!" said Belle and Regina.

Emma withdrew a clear potion tinged a slight purple from her pocket and a spoon. "Okay, kids. I need you to line up and take a spoonful of this. It'll reverse the spell I cast on you and you'll get your adult memories backs and be restored."

One by one, the kids came and took a spoonful of the potion, which tasted both sweet and sour, and soon after they were restored to their former selves.

Gold went last, and as soon as he was his adult self again, he healed himself of the damage Blue had caused, then he hugged Neal. "Thank you, Bae, for saving me . . . and for taking my advice."

"Always, Papa," Neal said and hugged him back.

When Rumple looked up he found Regina and Belle at his elbow. He hugged Belle close and said to Regina, "Well . . . that was an adventure, wasn't it?"

"Getting back that Blue Butt Muncher was the highlight of my week, Rumple!" Regina said, and they all started laughing.

The others were laughing too, and Hook approached Neal and said, "My hook please, Bae."

"Here," Neal gave it back to him. "Now watch what you do with it."

"Aye, lad," Hook smirked. "You know, your dad's not quite the coward I thought."

"Guess you finally learned what I've always known, Jones," Belle said softly.

"Aye, and you're no helpless bookworm either, Belle." He rubbed his backside meaningfully.

Then he walked off, whistling an old sea tune.

They all went to make their way out of the convent, and had just reached the courtyard where Leroy waited with his truck and Granny with her old sedan and Emma with her Bug, when Rumple felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down.

"Can you restore me, Rumplestiltkin?" Blue asked, her face hopeful.

They all waited to see what he would say.

Rumple shook his head. "Sorry, dearie. I'm fresh out of ingredients for that potion."

Blue stamped her foot and pouted like the child she was. "You're an old grouch!"

"You know, if you keep looking like that, your face is gonna freeze that way," Regina remarked, her eyes sparkling.

"Who cares?" Blue muttered.

Leroy sighed and then said to Nova, who had come up to them, "Nova, your problem child's gotten out of the playpen again. Better keep an eye on her."

Nova nodded and then she picked up Blue and scolded her as they went back inside, "Now you quit pestering Mr. Gold, young lady, and if you bite me again it'll be an early bedtime and no dessert, you naughty girl!"

"Aww . . . but _Nova . . .!"_ whined Blue shrilly.

"Am I glad we don't have that chore!" Belle murmured to Rumple.

"You can say that again, dearie!" he agreed. Then he took her in his arms and kissed her breathless, thanking the fates that he was his old self again, and so was Belle and everyone else. He doubted that any of them would ever be nostalgic for their youth again, though the experience was one none of them would soon forget.

Clutching his cane, Rumplestiltskin limped out into the sunshine, his arm entwined with Belle's, Storybrooke's enigmatic clever sorcerer once more.

**A/N: special thanks to CJ Moliere for brainstorming with me!**


End file.
